Etiquette for internet dating methods dating ancient artifacts
A picture-less ad says: “I am so ugly I didn’t want to risk a photo,” “I am married,” or “I am on the run from Broadmoor.” Everyone who likes your main photo will want to see more. Whether you’re a man or a woman, an unnatural photo with your shirt off makes you look desperate and/or only interested in sex. This is a cruel fact of life for online dating beginners, especially men. Likewise, you won’t “keep them keen” by making them wait days for a reply. Don’t allow an email conversation to drag on for weeks without a date.
Not because they can’t get enough of you, but because a single photo is not a reliable indicator of what you look like. Use photos and messages for spotting potential, but don’t start fancying the pants off a two-dimensional image. More men than women advertise on most dating sites, so the girls get the pick of the bunch. Read the profiles that get most views, and pick up tips from them. You may think you’re “connecting”, but you can’t judge chemistry unless you meet up.
Forget that stuff about playing hard to get, expecting the man to pay, and never having sex on a first date. “I cook a mean paella and I’ll always try to make you laugh” is good, but “I have a fantastic job and no-one can understand why I’m single” is not.
Today’s rules are a little more user-friendly – but some of them may surprise you. Many profiles on dating websites start with statements like: “I’m no good at this kind of thing”. If you put yourself down, you won’t sound attractively self-effacing. The aim of the online dating game is to catch the eye of someone you have lots in common with.
Second, they sound like an exact description of the writer’s ex.
Don’t even think about posting a dating advert without a photo. You meet, and the blood drains from their face as they realise that your photo was taken 10 years, five stone and 500 wrinkles ago. You don’t have to write someone an epic love letter (please don’t) – just pick out a couple of appealing points in their bio and write a quick intro message. Some rookies assume that they must answer every email, even if it’s “thanks, but no thanks”. “Thanks but no thanks” can feel more hurtful than no reply.
For people who are dabbling in the virtual dating world, I’ve compiled a list of tips to help out in as many ways as I can. What works for one may not work for another, so experiment and find out what works best for you.You do this by being original and, above all, specific about your interests.Instead of saying that you like sunsets, mention the best sunset you’ve ever seen.Online dating, like anything else, has some etiquette rules everyone should follow.It always amazes me how much people willingly disguise who they are online.
See it all as experience, not as proof that you’re a loser (or that everyone else is a loser).