Dating older man problems
How did/does the age gap impact your relationship once you were in it?
Woman A: Like most 18-year-olds, I did not have much relationship experience, so it was easier for him to get away with things I would not have tolerated had I had a better sense of what a healthy relationship should feel like. We began dating when I was on winter break during my freshman year in college.
I think it was a thrill for him and gave him a chance to relive some of his adolescence.
Would you say that you are more attracted to older men than younger men, or men in your age group? I've also always been attracted to power dynamics and to the idea of inhabiting a more sexually submissive role.
Did/does it impact sex at all, for better or for worse? This was one of the many ways the relationship was emotionally abusive — sex was always ostensibly on the table, but no matter how much I threw myself at him, I was always rejected. The fact that this man didn't want to have sex with me in spite of claiming to love me, in spite of the fact that men allegedly always want sex, in spite of the fact that they allegedly especially want sex with much younger women — all of this made the continual rejection especially painful. We have different tastes sexually — I'm more adventurous — but that has nothing to do with age.
Woman C: I knew he was older, I just didn't think that he was that much older.
I think it felt good for him that an 18-year-old was choosing to spend time with him.
Because he had a reluctance to grow up, he wanted to stay young in as many ways as possible.
My cousin actually said, "Forty-five is the new 30!
" My mother was less OK with it, but I expected that. Woman D: My family, especially my father, were very much against the relationship. My friends thought it was "gross" and it took them nearly all four years of college to warm up to my boyfriend.
Woman B: It has very little impact, although it does lead to some amusing jokes at times. Because we worked together we were able to spend time together and I would come home from school on the weekends.