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Start with what matters most to you—your values, for example, says Parrott. “Make a list of deal-makers and deal-breakers,” says Parrott. It may sound silly, but it works because you can then tell right away if a person is worth pursuing.Don’t rely on your feelings alone.”One thing that should definitely make the list? “They need to have a higher level of patience because sometimes it takes that when you have kids,” says Laino.Passion gets confused with love and it's easy to get swept away in a relationship that might ultimately be wrong for you. A new relationship can feel like a breath of fresh air and it's easy to want the relationship to develop at a fast pace.If your new man isn't willing to wait, then he will have little patience for anything else. Give yourself time to really get to know this new man.That’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially if a positive addition is coming into your life.Before you even start meeting up with people, decide what exactly it is you’re looking for in a new partner.Otherwise, you’ll just carry those issues with you into your next relationship, and it’ll likely cause the same tension and stress.So, if you struggled with communication in your past relationship, take your year off dating to work on connecting with others and vocalizing what's on your mind.
Especially if you’re coming out of an unhealthy relationship, it's important to unpack what went wrong, how it may have affected you, and even how you may have contributed to the problem, says Laino.Your kids will resent it and may even end up holding a grudge against him. If your presence at the game would mean the world to your child, find an alternate time to be with your boyfriend. If you've taken it slow and developed the relationship over time, breaking up can be hard for both you and your children. Sit down with your kids, explain the situation, and listen to their concerns.Like maybe when they are spending the weekend with their Dad or are away on a camping trip. And give them and yourself time to heal before jumping back into the dating pool.Once you get the green light, start looking for matches, and do so regularly.“That means checking in at least every couple of days to see what kind of people are reaching out,” says Parrot. Do so publicly, and always let a friend know what you’re doing. The anxiety of how your kids will react to you dating again is very real.But once again, it’s important to not let that fear cripple you from ever leaving the house without them.
These tips can help you get started on the right foot... But this is your life and you are the one who gets to live it, not someone else. As a single mom, it's easy for your whole life to be wrapped up in your kids.